Scriptural Love: Before and After ‘I Do’


The Bible provides distinct guidance on relationships: it supports dating with a marriage-focused intention, views engagement as a separate phase from marriage, and endorses marriage counseling. It also emphasizes compromise in marriage, considers consummation sacred, and advises maintaining purity before marriage.

Biblical Perspectives on Dating Before Marriage

The Bible, while not explicitly discussing “dating” in modern terms, emphasizes relationships built on shared faith and values. For instance, in 2 Corinthians 6:14, it’s written:

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

This verse is often interpreted as advising Christians to form close relationships, including romantic ones, with those who share their faith and values.

Regarding the concept of “dating for marriage,” the Bible encourages relationships that are purposeful and directed towards a lifelong commitment.

“Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.”

Proverbs 19:14

This suggests the importance of seeking a partner who is wise and God-fearing, implying that dating should be a thoughtful, discerning process aimed at finding a lifelong partner.

In essence, Biblical guidance on dating before marriage centers around choosing partners who share your faith, dating with intention and purpose, and focusing on building a relationship that aligns with God’s teachings and leads to a committed, lifelong union.

Preparation for Matrimony: Readiness According to the Bible

Ready for marriage? The Bible says it’s more than just love—it’s about being prepared. Think of Proverbs 24:27:

“Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.”

This isn’t just about having your ducks in a row. It’s a call to action—get your life sorted. Before you say “I do,” make sure you’re stable—financially, emotionally, and spiritually.

And let’s talk about love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 isn’t just poetic; it’s a checklist for readiness:

Love is patient, love is kind… It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Patience. Kindness. Trust. Hope. Perseverance. These aren’t just nice words; they’re the foundation of a marriage that lasts. So, before you walk down the aisle, ask yourself: Am I ready to be this kind of partner?

Purity Before Union: The Biblical Call to Save Yourself for Marriage

The Bible’s message is crystal clear: sexual purity before marriage is not just a suggestion, it’s a divine expectation. Consider the powerful words from 1 Corinthians 6:18-20:

Flee from sexual immorality… your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit… you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

This isn’t just about abstaining from physical intimacy; it’s a profound call to honor your body as a sacred vessel. The Bible frames this not merely as a rule but as a pathway to honor the spiritual essence of a marital bond.

So, yes, the Bible firmly advocates saving yourself for marriage. It’s a commitment to purity that transcends physical actions, shaping a bond that’s deeply rooted in respect, love, and spiritual unity. It’s a testament to the belief that the most intimate connections are worth waiting for, promising a depth and richness that far surpasses the physical realm.

Virginity and Marriage: A Biblical Examination

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Virginity and Marriage: A Biblical Perspective

The Bible places a premium on virginity as a symbol of purity and commitment in marriage. Hebrews 13:4 tells us, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure,” highlighting the value of sexual purity.

Historically, virginity was a cultural and legal expectation for women before marriage, as seen in Deuteronomy 22:13-21. Yet, the Bible’s narrative doesn’t end with cultural norms; it extends to forgiveness and grace for all.

In contemporary times, the focus shifts from physical virginity to spiritual and emotional integrity. It’s about a heartfelt commitment to faithfulness and living out one’s values, both before saying “I do” and within the sacred bond of marriage.

Engagement Before Marriage According to the Bible

The Bible places a premium on virginity as a symbol of purity and commitment in marriage. Hebrews 13:4 tells us,

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure,”

This verse highlights the value of sexual purity.

Historically, virginity was a cultural and legal expectation for women before marriage, as seen in Deuteronomy 22:13-21. Yet, the Bible’s narrative doesn’t end with cultural norms; it extends to forgiveness and grace for all.

In contemporary times, the focus shifts from physical virginity to spiritual and emotional integrity. It’s about a heartfelt commitment to faithfulness and living out one’s values, both before saying “I do” and within the sacred bond of marriage.

Navigating the Transition: Leaving Parents After Marriage

The Bible is clear: marriage is a game-changer.

Genesis 2:24 tells us,

“A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

It’s not just about moving out—it’s about forging a new, independent life together.

This ‘leaving and cleaving’ isn’t about turning your back on family; it’s about giving your marriage the space to bloom. It’s a call to prioritize your partnership and build a new legacy, with respect for the past but eyes firmly on the future.

In short, the Bible nudges us towards a respectful detachment from our childhood homes, encouraging us to invest heart and soul in the marital bond. It’s about creating a new, self-sustaining family unit that’s rooted in love and mutual commitment.

Marriage Counseling in the Bible

While the Bible doesn’t directly mention “marriage counseling” as we understand it today, its teachings implicitly support the principles behind it.

For example, James 1:5, it’s mentions:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

This verse suggests that in times of uncertainty or difficulty, such as those often encountered in marriage, seeking wisdom is encouraged — and this can be through prayer, guidance from spiritual leaders, or counseling.

Moreover, the Bible emphasizes the importance of understanding and patience in relationships, qualities vital to the success of marriage counseling.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Colossians 3:12-13

This passage not only underscores the necessity of forgiveness in marriage but also aligns closely with the ideas discussed in our article on What the Bible Says About Forgiveness, where we delve deeper into understanding forgiveness from a Biblical perspective.

In summary, while the Bible may not explicitly discuss marriage counseling, its teachings on wisdom, understanding, patience, and forgiveness provide a strong foundation for the principles upon which modern marriage counseling is built.

Compromise in Marriage: A Biblical View

In the realm of marriage, the Bible emphasizes the importance of mutual respect, understanding, and, yes, compromise.

Ephesians 5:21 succinctly captures this ethos:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

This verse isn’t about one partner dominating or dictating terms; it’s about both partners showing mutual respect and willingness to adjust for the betterment of their relationship.

Another relevant verse is Philippians 2:4, which advises:

“Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others.”

In the context of marriage, this means considering your spouse’s needs and perspectives as equally important as your own. It’s about finding a harmonious balance where decisions are made considering the well-being of both partners.

So, when it comes to compromise in marriage, the Bible doesn’t just suggest it; it pretty much recommends it as a key ingredient for a healthy, loving, and lasting relationship. It’s about working together, respecting each other’s views, and sometimes, yes, giving a little to gain a lot in terms of marital happiness and unity.

Consummation of Marriage: Biblical Insights

The Bible regards the consummation of marriage as a crucial and sacred act, integral to the marital covenant.

Genesis 2:24 underscores this, stating:

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

This verse highlights the consummation as not just a physical union but as a profound merging of lives, symbolizing the complete and exclusive commitment between husband and wife.

In terms of the significance of consummation, it’s more than just a physical act; it’s a spiritual and emotional bond that cements the marriage. The Bible places great emphasis on this union as a means of expressing love, commitment, and the beginning of a shared life.

1 Corinthians 7:2-5 speaks to this, emphasizing the mutual responsibility and privilege of marital intimacy:

“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.”

This passage not only addresses the physical aspects of consummation but also the emotional and spiritual connection, reinforcing the idea that consummation is a key element in the strength and health of a marital relationship.

For a broader understanding of the Biblical perspective on marriage, including aspects like commitment, love, and mutual respect, take a look at our in-depth article: What Does the Bible Say About Marriage?. This piece offers a comprehensive view of marriage as seen through Biblical teachings, providing valuable insights for anyone seeking to understand or strengthen their marital relationship.

Biblical Teachings on Behavior Before Marriage

The Bible provides clear guidance on maintaining purity and integrity before marriage, especially concerning behaviors like fooling around, sleeping together, and lust. These teachings emphasize the importance of upholding moral and ethical standards in personal relationships.

Addressing sexual relations before marriage, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 states:

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.”

This passage explicitly advises against sexual immorality, urging individuals to live in a way that honors their bodies and their relationship with God, highlighting self-control and respect.

Regarding lust, Matthew 5:28 offers a profound insight:

“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Here, Jesus extends the concept of purity beyond physical actions, emphasizing that even lustful thoughts can be contrary to the values of integrity and purity.

These Biblical principles on purity and integrity before marriage are part of a broader framework of teachings on relationships. For a more comprehensive understanding of what the Bible says about relationships before marriage, including navigating them in a way that aligns with Christian values, check out our detailed article here: What Does the Bible Say About Relationships Before Marriage?. This piece offers deeper insights and guidance for maintaining healthy, respectful, and God-honoring relationships.

Conclusion: Embracing Biblical Wisdom in Relationships and Marriage

“Scriptural Love: Before and After ‘I Do’” takes us on a Biblical voyage from dating to marriage. It’s clear: date with purpose, honor your engagement as a sacred promise and lean on wisdom—like marriage counseling—that echoes Biblical teachings. The Bible’s take on marriage is all about mutual compromise, the sacredness of unity, and the value of purity before saying ‘I do’.

We’ve also unpacked the Bible’s views on leaving your family to start a new one, being truly ready for marriage, the importance of saving oneself for the marital journey, and the significance of virginity within marriage. These insights are like a compass, pointing us toward relationships that are not just about love and happiness but are deeply rooted in spiritual truth.

By weaving these Biblical principles into our love stories, we’re guided towards a fulfilling, spiritually rich marriage. Whether it’s the bold step of independence after the wedding, the thoughtful preparation for a lifelong commitment, the cherished purity before marriage, or understanding virginity’s spiritual importance—the Bible lights the path to a love that’s not just felt but also deeply honored.

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